It has been a day of mixed emotions. A 7-8 month old baby girl died from injuries sustained in a car wreck with her 45 y/o grandparents. The grandfather also died. The baby girl was named Kennedi and she was beautiful. She is the niece of a dance teacher we know. It was heartbreaking to hear of Kennedi's death. I can only begin to imagine the feelings I would have if something happened to Addison. We will never be able to fathom God's ways.
As I was dealing with these emotions, Tammy texted that she and Addison had been on one of our elevated roadways, when they had to stop suddenly due to the traffic shut down caused by a stalled car. She looked in her rearview mirror to see a large pick-up barrelling at them. There was no place to go - nothing to do....just watch and scream. Somehow the pick-up screeched to a sideways stop. Understandably, Tammy was an emotional mess. I told her that knowledge of Kennedi's passing had broken my heart - the knowledge of them being hurt or killed had stopped my heart.
My first thoughts started correctly - expressing gratitude that the Father had protected my loved ones. I then felt selfish and strange...thankfulness that a wreck hadn't happened to us along with the knowledge that a wreck had happened to someone else and two lives were lost. Who were we to be spared? Were we blessed and they weren't? Are we doing anything to impact His kingdom?
I haven't answered any of my questions. The emotions are completely jumbled...sorrow, gratitude, sympathy, challenged. Life will go on and all this will fade, before it does, please God let me learn the lesson(s) I need from these situations and use me so that others see You in my thoughts and actions.
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